We communicated with the extra-terrestrials in writing at first. When we failed to understand them, they wrote bigger.
A million years ago, they were pets to another species. Hence their habit of curling up at our ambassadors’ feet in the middle of negotiations.
The winds have died out altogether on their world, and they pollinate wildflowers by hand. It’s their favorite form of sex. Such unnatural acts disgust us, we explained. Now that the bees and butterflies are gone, we’ve bred thumb-sized dogs that live on nectar.
Many churches disbanded when we discovered the aliens were Christians. Jesus had betrayed us with another planet!