9. Would like to live long enough to get my flying car.
8. Want to have fresh breath in case I meet Kate Winslet.
7. Found out coughing doesn’t count as exercise.
6. Can spend the same money on lottery tickets, with astronomically better odds of a good result.
5. I can look just as cool holding a martini.
4. Even bars don’t smell like bars anymore — why should I?
3. More time and energy for other vices.
2. All the cool kids are quitting.
1. It’s easier than dumping the ashtrays.